Now, whatever I think is irrelevant. If you think I’m right. You are correct! If you think i’m wrong, you are correct! Make it what you will. It is your life and your own light that will guide you on the wonderful paths that lay ahead.
The first thing I want to share with the world is a wonderful little act, that when done, immediately turns your world on its head, removes any rose tinted glasses and will lead you to betterment. That little act is asking the question Why to yourself.
It doesn’t sound like much, but to approach a situation and internally ask from a non judgmental stand point ”why?”, you uncover some of the wonders that this life hides in the open. I’ve racked my brains on how to make it simpler, but I can’t. That is it.
Your future will completely change when you adopt this into your daily life. Judgement will no longer occur and the connection you will feel to yourself and whatever you look towards ( God, The Universe, Flying Spaghetti Monster in the Sky… ), will increase quantum fold!
I have found this to be the fastest way to leave a stressful mind. Also, a valuable skill I learned was not to react, but respond. A reaction will lash out and could cause un-calculated consequences, while a response is delivered with intent and openness.
Here is an interesting story to show you it in use.
About 2 years ago, I was dining with a friend and her mother. Recently, it had been discovered that the father had been having an affair and was caught. The dinner conversation was littered with snide comments at the man and his ”after work activities ”. Not one positive comment was uttered, just ”why me?” and ” what an evil person ”. As I listened, I merely observed. Who was I to judge anyone.
After about an hour of this, the attention turned to me and I was asked my view point. Being the only male at the table, I felt like i was being led to slaughter! I decided to just look at the mother and ask out straight ” why would he cheat? ”. The usual, ” he’s an asshole and he’s this and that…” but I asked again. I asked myself.
From what I saw, the mother was an incredibly independent woman. She built a business herself from nothing, she bought the family home herself, she had her own bank accounts, she at times vacationed solo and she raised the daughter most of the time.
Could it be possible that the father loved her so much but was also very intimidated by her? Unable to break into a deeper, connected relationship?
Yes, they were married, but were they close? Did they share that life-force together? I don’t know the answer as I’m not either of them, but I knew that by offering my view point, it could move things in a completely different direction. It was time to set the cat amongst the pigeons.
I relayed what I thought to the mother. Like a bomb, the place exploded! I was public enemy joint number one! How dare I question such things! From every view point, she was the victim here and he was the devil. The mother stormed out of the restaurant leaving me with the daughter. Luckily the daughter knew me and knew that my brain functioned a little different from the rest of the world. Was there method to my madness?
A few days later, my phone rang. It was the mother. She calmly apologized about her reaction and told me something wonderful.
As she drove home, she said she kept asking the question ”why?” in her head and after awhile of this got tired of the responses , so approached it from a non judgmental view.
She said really instantly she saw things differently. She pulled the car over and sat in the car for hours, delving deeper into why. All of a sudden, she realized, she was so independent, she could never allow her husband to be one with her as he intended. He did in fact love her.
This, over the years and the lack of communication led to the disastrous act.
Now don’t think for a second I am saying the father was correct in what he did. What I am saying is, it is more understandable why. From his new footing, you open so many possibilities to go forward. In this particular situation, the family did split. The mother loving her independence and the father has moved onto a new connected relationship.
I took a similar view point to the Tiger Woods scandal some years ago. It had been revealed that Tiger had multiple encounters with women outside his marriage, and the world went insane at this revelation. This icon, father, charitable man was now viewed as the scum of the Earth. I didn’t allow myself to be dragged into the mass media of it. Instead I asked the question ”Why?”. The answer I received from within was astounding.
From my years of reading success literature and psychology books, It was evident that the most driven, rich and successful people in the world had an incredible sex drive. With Tiger Woods, he was world number one. Unbeatable. I could assume he had a high sex drive, from the number of women claiming to have been with him. Now, his wife Elin is very beautiful. A Swedish blonde model. The two married, started a life together and had a child. Here is where my brain decided to go in this instance.
I theorized, that the wife, who probably had been hit on and propositioned for years due to her stunning looks. Upon marrying, she was happy to be free of all the sexual pressures, but not understanding her husbands sex drive, shut him out as ‘another dog’.
This pressure had to be released somewhere and sadly, we all know what happened next. Again, I’m not saying what Tiger did was right. I am saying though, through a new way of looking at it, and asking ”why?”, we have a brand new view point to act from. I think open communication and the understanding of power could have prevented such a thing. What happened was wrong, but not bad. I seriously doubt there was any malicious intent.
So next time you are in any situation, just ask ”why?”. Steer away from the pitfall of ”Why me!?!”
If you think someone was betrayed you, they could just be too proud to ask for help. If you think something has happened for the worst, it would be for the best. Find a new footing and from there, respond, don’t react.